New Jersey River Rhymes

Sailing on the Navesink
I had time to stop and think
Ships sailing here have never sunk
At least that's what I thought I thunk.

Sailing on the Delaware
Is, as you are well aware,
Serious, so don't be silly
Or you'll be sailing into Philly.

Sailing on the Hackensack
It takes a certain knack to tack
It was a knack I seemed to lack
And that is why I won't go back.

Sailing by the Jersey Shore
Something I have done before
There's the land just out of reach
Do I dare to say The Beach?

Sailing on the Raritan
You might say, "Sounds like a plan"
But you'd be wrong for when my mutt grrrs
You know we've come too close to Rutgers.

Sailing on the River Hudson
I said, I think I'd like a Bud, son.
Said son to me with pinpoint timing,
You don't drink beer, not even rhyming.

Sailing on Little Egg Harbor
I cried out, Help! I need a barber.
Moral: Sailor, do not beg
On either Great or Little Egg.

Sailing up on Lake Hopatcong
Seems that I wore my top hat wrong.
One dresses correctly when one sails
And that includes not wearing tails.

Sailing on the great Passaic
Was, I must admit, prosaic.
Wait, "prosaic" is not a rhyme
And not poetic at any time.

*River rhymes are a verse form invented by the late William Rossa Cole. They are generally four-line rhyming poems, with the name of a body of water in the first line. Beyond that, the rules are pretty flexible and beyond that, often winked at.

Hamlet in a Hurry

To be or not to be
Hamlet of Elsinore
Father dead, uncle king
He felt bereft.

Crazily did in the
Dramatis personae
No one was left.

Edmund Conti has had recent poems at Sticks Press, The Hypertexts, Folly as well as in interview with Orson Welles. Most of the lurid details can be found by googling Edmund Conti. But if you are going to do that, why not just google Billy Collins?

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